Everyone, and I think probably especially intellectual people, questions their sexuality (am I attracted to the opposite gender in some way?) and at least their gender expression (am I masculine / feminine enough?) to some extent. It’s no different for a lot of people I think than imposter syndrome and can be tied to a lack of self confidence.

Everyone is also capable of fantasizing about, basically, whatever, and enjoying it, without the fantasy or enjoyment having to mean anything about how they feel about themselves or how others will feel about them.

Also, sexual preference, as kinks and fetishes, develop and change in men at least until some surprising age, like, into your 50s. Like you could live your entire life identifying and living as a one thing and by fifty-five be identifying as something else. I think, and I’m not sure yet, be that’s just life. Most people who don’t live in a safe space bubble and don’t leave their home town or school aged friend group have to reinvent themselves multiple times in life.

Also also, sexual pleasure and gratification is a full body and mind experience and it’s possible that different partners stimulate and gratify different parts of that experience, even different encounters with the same partners. And none of that has to be carried around with you as if it changes anything about who you are or how you should be treated.

And lastly, it’s fine to treat this person and anyone else in a positive and fun way for both of you. It could be that this person expresses themselves femininely and so your instinct is to be a little different, whether that’s with more compassion and tenderness and even flirty, and I would say confusion is probably a very healthy and intelligent, internal reflex to something like this that is new to you.

And finally, anyone that says the Roman Empire collapsed because of all the fucking without making babies is a right cunt. If society collapses because of who any of us are fucking then it was coming either way.

Romantic attraction and sexual attraction can often be different. It’s just society says you can’t have sex with people you aren’t romantically involved with, and once you’re romantically involved with someone, you can’t have sex with others. That’s totally unfair IMHO. You should be able to have a romantic relationship with someone and not expect sex and then be able to have sex with others who are interested in sex. This is why asexual people have a hard time with monogamy and have to pretend to be into sex because otherwise they can’t have a relationship with someone they love.

You’re gonna get sampling bias from the responses here. I guess you should ask why you care about asking this question. If you always liked apples but all of a sudden there’s a type of orange you like, would you question why you like this orange, or would you just accept that you like this type of orange, or maybe you like both apples and oranges. If you both you like each other, and want something then that’s all that should matter.

Who cares? If you like him, and he likes you, go have some fun. If you like it with him, do it again with him. If you like it in general, do it again with other guys as well.

If you don’t like it, don’t do it again, wt least until the next time you feel curious

Don’t let weirdo’s dictate.thst you can’t have fun with being curious, don’t feel the need to label everything

Yes I’ve seen Jason Mamoa.

I think that in reality, every human can relate to this post. Straight, gay, bi, asexual. You meet a person that makes you go “what the fuck is happening?”.

My opinion is that it doesn’t really mean (or necessarily equate) that you want to have sex with the person. For myself, I consider myself to be heterosexual although I wish I was bisexual. I do however consider myself to be biromantic, and could very well see myself in a relationship with someone of the same gender. The difference is that when I’ve envisioned or been close to trying the sex part, I get actually physically nautious. Not to say “gays make me sick” but, uh 😂😂 Me personally having gay sex makes me sick.

Adults fuck whatever they want.

“Sexual identity” is for children who need to get out more.

Binary gender is such bullshit. Nobody is attracted to every man or every woman. It’s totally normal to be attracted to people who fall into both buckets if that’s your only way of categorizing people. Because that’s not how attraction or sexuality work. It’s so much richer and more nuanced than that.

Yea I pretty much threw away labels because it got to be a pain in the ass to try and say anything when I always end up going into that description “I’m just attracted to femininity”.

Not me. Everyone else though. In the land of rednecks,that is the lot of the intellectual

I am straight as a board, to my despair. Women are so beautiful and in general hold up better as we get older, it would be so lovely to know I could switch teams if my husband died or we divorced, my kids say I should date women next time if there is a next time but alas, I’ve tried and there is nothing. It’s men for me.

I would argue that being attracted to individuals regardless of their gender is the most natural and reasonable sexuality there is, though. I think of bisexuality or pansexuality as the default setting for humans - we don’t have a mating season or anything, we use sexuality for all sorts of non- reproductive reasons. My kids were raised with no pressure to be straight or not, 3/4 of them are queer, 2 of those lean gay one leans hetero, but as preference not orientation if that makes sense. One is as straight as I am, it’s an orientation.

Yep. Thought I was straight until my 30s and saw a picture that made me feel things about men that I usually felt about women. Turns out I’m not that picky about gender but women get a +5. (which means, even if I wasn’t married, the guys I’m attracted to are wayyyyyy outta my league.)

I’ve thought a couple different guys were hot, but the idea of actually having sex with them still doesn’t do it for me. Ah well, life is confusing sometimes.

I am straight, but my social media habits put me into a lot of contact with memes from gay, lesbian, pan, and everything else under the sun. A lot of it seems relatable, even if I never experience those same feelings IRL with real people. Definitely makes me question my sexuality semi regularly, lol.

Btw, questioning things is usually a healthy thing to do. And sexually or attraction is complex. For some people it’s also (or more) about personality and less about body features. Or it’s multiple factors. You can be attracted to more than one gender. It’s a wide bandwidth. And there’s a lot of different things out there. You do you.