I’m in a happy relationship with a woman, but some man I talked to once kept messaging me and suggesting we be in a relationship. I blocked him once several months ago (back when I was single because I was uninterested) and then unblocked him.
Sure enough, when I went to check in with him and see how life was going, I made a mistake. he was at it again and kept suggesting again that we be in a relationship.
He seems like a good friend and he seems nice enough but he seems like he would objectify me too much even if I were to be in an open relationship if all he cares about is being mine and not who I am.
I didn’t want to deal with it, so I decided to block him, but I feel bad 😓. Plus, I’ll be friends with people but I’ll block if they suggest I date them, especially when I’m dating.
It’s a bit different now because I’m legal, but I remember during my first days of posting on the internet (c. 2014) there were guys who looked around my age now claiming to be like 15 even though they looked about ten years older. Luckily, I blocked them too and even got my first boyfriend then! 🙂
Why are you feeling bad about it? You are setting boundaries and sticking to them, be proud of yourself.
The only one who should feel bad is him, for not respecting your relationship and (as per your words) objectifying you all the time.
You did well to free yourself from that toxicity as it would escalate one way or the other. Don’t put yourself down for their behaviour, they did this, not you.
He seemed nice, but also more lustful than loving, ex: “i can treat you better than they could”. I feel like he just wanted sex from me. (I’m ace so this won’t happen anyway)
Well, good for you, enforcing a boundary. It’s actually a difficult thing to do
I wanna warn you of something though. You said he seems like a good friend, and nice enough. There is nothing nice about any of the things you said he did, and someone doing them is not only not a good friend, they’re no friend at all.
Blocking him was not only the best choice for you, it’s the best for him. Guys like that have to learn that being a pressuring jerk isn’t acceptable.
It’s your life and you are the one to command it. Life is short, why waste it on people that make you feel uncomfortable? You were generous enough to give him a second chance, but he clearly didn’t give a shit and squandered it again. You’re not the one responsible for him finding a partner, he is.
Thank you 🌺
Off-topic but some things I don’t understand:
seems like objectification to care more about whether I’d date him or not than who I am as a person and guilt-tripping me (you broke my heart, you made me sad) when I said no.
He seems too focused on whether or not I have a boyfriend but completely ignores the fact that I’ve liked girls too? Ugh, some cishet men (just some) 😓
