- cross-posted to:
- funny@lemmy.ml
- cross-posted to:
- funny@lemmy.ml
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Deutschland über alles!
Germany starts world war 3
The rest of the world: “how do we keep falling for this?”
Everyone loves a good heel-face turn though
Let’s make sure to start the campaign in autumn so we are deep inside Russia during the coldest parts of winter. Let’s also make sure to only take light summer clothing.
Ya know, what with global warming this might actually work.
That sort of idea seems great when everyone is taking Pervitin all the time.
Pervitin, the brand name that Meth was originally sold under.
That’s so yesterday. Now we use modafinil!
Legal meth? Sign me up!
The Nazi army used a lot of drugs: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/29429893-blitzed
I’m sure if it came to it, Canada would send some good folks along as well.
Hey, they might actually manage the cold! This is brilliant!
I hope for Canada’s sake, and for the sake of NATO and the EU, that Canada puts on some big boy pants and boosts its military. I have seen a lot of talk such as yours, but the reality is that Canada’s military is a joke. Canada is so far behind in it’s military spending obligation for NATO that they don’t even have a timeline for catching up. Canada’s airforce is 1/3rd the size of France’s and France is the 10th largest Airforce in the world. The Canadian Army only has 22,000 active troops while the entire Canadian Armed Forces is only around 68,000 strong.
Canada has had troops on the ground for a lot of global military events, but they’ve almost never fielded a significant number. In the Gulf War they had ~4,500 troops, the Coalition had >950,000 troops and 700,000 of them were from the US. In the War in Afghanistan Canada had ~40,000 troops over 13 years (Operation Enduring Freedom) and at any one point had no more than 2,500 troops deployed. Meanwhile the US had 1.9 million deployed in the same period and at it’s peak had over 100,000 troops deployed at once.
Oh but we gotta talk about WW1 and WW2 because people always take it there. In WW1 Canada deployed 620,000 troops while the US deployed 4.7 million. In WW2 the Allied Powers had a combined total over over 80 million troops, the US had around 16.5 million while Canada had 1.1 million.
As an American who likes Canada and doesn’t agree with the current US political direction, I absolutely hope Canada puts it’s money where it’s mouth is. When Russia invaded Crimea in 2014 NATO members were supposed to increase their spending to prepare to stand up to Russia and as of 2021 only 5 of the 31 states had met that goal. As of 2024 only 8 states still had not met the goal, but Canada had the special distinction of being the only member state with no timeline on when they would meet that goal.
In a Politico article from last year
“The Canadian public doesn’t really see the need,” said Philippe Lagassé, Barton chair at Canada’s Carleton University. “If forced to choose between defense spending, social programs or reducing taxes, defense would always come last. So there’s no political gain to meeting the pledge.”
With the US threatening to leave NATO the EU has stepped up with a rearmament plan as recently as this week, let’s hope Canada does the same.
We might get a bit busy but I’m sure we can spare one or two war crimes their way.
I am ok if Europe wants to send troops to Canada to defend against the real enemy—the United States.
I’ll come to defend the indiginous people from Canadians stealing and polluting their land.
*Occupied States
If it comes to it, there won’t be a conventional battle. We will take them out from within.
In the wise words of the Arrogant Worms, “We’ll take a boat to Washingtooooooon! And burn the White House twice!”
I was going to joke “I’ll send y’all intel,” but now I’m seriously considering if my country will use that statement against me some day.
I am joking NSA/DOGE, of course.
I don’t want intel, AMD is better imo.
Too late the van is already on its way
Ukrainians: “the Germans are here to liberate us from the Russian yoke. And they actually mean it this time!”
Same nazis as they were
Tbf Poland would be joining them this time around.
Last time Russia and Germany invaded Poland together. Presumably this would be Germany and Poland invading Russia.
They did last time too, just not quite as voluntarily
They’re allowed to take out one German tank with light cavalry, for old time’s sake.
You know…as the battlefield becomes ever more automated, there might be a very brief window where the winged hussars could make a comeback.
Let’s say you have a battlefield riddled with smart drones. They have image recognition and immediately attack anything resembling a tank or other military asset. Do you think anyone bothered to program the drones to seek out and attack a unit outfit like 18th century Polish cavalry? A charge on horseback just might be able to ride completely undisturbed through the right kind of drone-controlled battlefield.
and you just fucking ruined what would have been the coolest thing ever by putting it in public!
THEN THE WINGED HUSSARS ARRIVED
COMING DOWN THEY TURNED THE TIDE
Ukranian drones are already equipped to target the latest Russian logistic vehicles, donkeys.
You could submit this plan to !noncredibledefense@sh.itjust.works
I didn’t know this existed and you just made my life
They would be programmed to kill anything that moved just to be sure they get everything. They will be deployed like mine fields except the owners could disable them to move through the drone field.
Okay well I’m just going to air blast gravel at them then.
Or you could just get a big block of lead and mount it on a remote controlled chassis and just drive it around. At 6 mi an hour.
Do you want your drones to burn through their numbers attacking deer and birds? That’s what happens if you set them to attack anything.
I can see the Onion headline: High-Tech Warfare not as simple as military genius on the internet thought
The moment they are activated they’ll just blow each other up. Could be fun to watch.
You guys have the most experience with that sort of thing
Ahh polandball. I missed these
These always remind me that I’m a dumb American.
We can stand to be roasted more then a little bit.
That may help us with our fat problem. I hear heat renders fat into liquid grease…
You hear? You have to experience it. Roasting isn’t just good for meat, it’s great for a lot of veggies… and arrogant assholes too!
Oh no the innocent Germans are being forced to become Nazis by other western countries. It’s definitely not because the entire west worked with Nazis after WW2 to “fight communism”.
The Nazis never left Germany. They just expanded beyond it.
They worked with them DURING WW2 from the moment it was clear the germs would lose.
Yep. A lot of Nazi leaders began making their connections with the west as it became obvious that the USSR was winning in the Eastern front as well as Operation Paperclip, etc.
Everyone knows about Operation Paperclip.
Which for some can be whitwashed as useful.
But it was much worse and blatant.
Saving the worst warcriminals and 1000’s of SS division ukranianGalizien.
Later project aerodynamic.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UB_Gs-0dhOo
https://ebeggin.substack.com/p/ratlines-nato-and-the-fourth-reichAnd it all shows it was the UK/US that actually wanted the contacts.
Absolutely. Thanks for the receipts.
I mean Canada literally honored a WW2 vet for a Ukrainian that “fought Russia” in WW2. Like, no thought “who was fighting the USSR in Ukraine in WW2?”
Poland: “What about attacking Russia alongside with an ally?”
Aye, I could do that.
Germany: “i thought these days would never come again. Fighting russia with poland and france like we did late 1700s and early 1800s”
The original band coming back for one more single.
deleted by creator
Wouldnt say it was a band. Napoleon forced some of the germans, the others joined because they wanted to be on the winning side, and the poles fought with Bonaparte for their freedom
So like a supergroup. Like the Highwaymen.
🎶"I wore a picklehaube, on the Rhineland I did ride…" 🎶
🎵🎶 I spilled the blood of the Saxon men🎶🎵
I know Charlemagne doesn’t fit the definition of a Supergroup, but that’s simply because when the term was coined, Christopher Lee hadn’t joined any bands yet. So the creators of the term forgot to leave in the loophole that any band with Christopher Lee is also a Supergroup.
No thank you. Defensive alliance, sure. But not attacking. We’re supposed to be the good guys, after all.
Assuming the internet exists in the future…
It’s a bold assumption.
I work almost entirely on things that use/need the Internet, and I know enough about how it all works that… The Internet existing in the future, is not guaranteed. At all.
This would be much more concerning if they hadn’t so thoroughly stamped out fascism. What’s the alternative for Germany?
Not totally. Fascism did take over 20% of the vote in last month’s election.
stamped out fascism
Alternative for Germany (Deutschland)
🤭…
💀…
Fascism was never stamped out. Wall street supported it heavily and now they fully control the us political and military machine. We came full circle. The nazi’s didnt loose the war their ideology infected those with control today. Central banks funded the third reich and those same financial institutions are still empowered and playing a part today. War and genocide / eugenics is a part of their business model.
If only there were a list of names… and addresses…
AfD is a nazi party. With tied to Blood and Honor, Proud Boys, constantly yelling nazi quotes, nazi saluting in private and small meetings, copying their rethoric and imagin aso
I can’t tell if that’s a lucky coincidence or a reference, but the Alternative for Germany (AfD) are the biggest voices in support of fascism in Germany, and they just won 20% of the seats in parliament. Luckily, even the CXU won’t form a coalition with them yet, so they will hopefully not have much impact on things.
Ironically, the AfD doesn’t want to militarize against Russia (but don’t be too reassured, they do want to reinstate mandatory conscription and militarize generally, just not against daddy Putin)
Fascism is back on the rise there, unfortunately.
I thought my little AfD reference at the end would give me away.
I thought it was clear
I think the widespread political “unwavering support” for a nation committing Genocide, which is justified by the ethnicity of the people of that nation, kinda shows that some part of Fascism (the whole “people’s race is what matters the most and some races are better than others”) hasn’t at all been stamped out.
Then there’s AfD which is just taking the “if it’s good to support them because of their race, then it’s good to support us” step closer to Fascism.
Germany is far closer to a certain philosophy anchored on classifying one’s fellow human being as worthy or unworthy depending on race than one would like to believe (certainly, I liked to believe before the political reaction there to whole Gaza thing made it too obvious to deny) - the symbols were made illegal whilst the spirit lives.
The alternative is to not build a giant army and use the money in something more useful that will benefit germans and humanity
And whenever Russia wants some land it’s just handed over?
Only if you believe the government and a bunch of corrupted politicians who never fought a war will save you.
Thoroughly?
Supporting companies? … <cough>
Germany was never fully denazified. There’s a reason the New Left in Germany was so militant. Kiesinger was in the Nazi Party!
Yeah the Schreibtischnazis and industrial-nazis never got punished. And not to speak of east germany who employed SS and Gestapo members in their StaSi
Yeah, we know, irony is dead. But if the world made sense then the Orange Idiot wouldn’t be in charge.
Poland has been pouring everything into their military, they are VERY ready for this to all go sideways. I can’t blame them.
Good.
Yeah they have a history of things going sideways around them given the location
Also the location of Poland was going sideways multiple times in history
Honestly, if they’d finessed their phrasing a little, that could have been a really good answer.
If it were up to me i would have only 3 conditions to allow poland go wild towards vladivostok
- Please have a winged hursar blow a horn to signal the attack (would be cool)
- Invite germany and france to tag along
- Dont take Königsberg for yourself but you may kick out the russians there <3
Their next cavalry charge towards enemy tanks is almost ready!
Can we call humans riding other humans or donkeys cavalry?
Like a fetish thing?
