Despite forgetting my meds earlier this week, i have bounced back mentally and want to spread some good vibes!

So, to that end, how ya doing? Been alright?

Purpose of this thread, for the newer folks, is just to open up a space to tell us about anything cool you’ve got going on, or vent if ya got something on your mind.

Remember, you are loved Care-Comrade

For my own part, “worked” 85 hours last week, but got paid today. Am officially caught up on rent and my internet bill, gonna chip away on power and gas next. Once those two are down, I’ll officially be out of the financial hole that unemployment put me in and can pay back personal debts! Have an interview Friday for another tech job, so I can stop doing the AI training thing if it pans out (but I’d still keep it up enough to buy a nice amp head >.>)

On a not so great note, I’ve been finding myself craving cathinone stims the past few days. Fortunately, i don’t have the money or the sources, so that works out nicely. Another positive note - 8 months without booze!

That’s really all with me. Hows about you?

  • roux [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
    10·
    4 months ago

    Getting super fucking depressed. I haven’t been to therapy in 3 weeks and still got 3 more before my therapist is back from vacation.

    It’s been almost a year since I got canned from my job. I read a statistic this morning that it takes an average of 3 to 5 months to find a new job. I guess I’m an over-achiever. I really don’t know what to fucking do about it either. There are virtually no jobs in my area that are even worth applying for. When I do get an interview I just fuck it up. I don’t know how to interview, even though I have watched and read everything online about how to interview.

    This all came on because I think I technically have given up on trying to get a “real job” where I work for a boss. I am legitimately trying to get a freelance web dev thing going. I have told a few people about it and 2, not one but 2 of them that know my plight, asking me very fucking smugly if I am gonna also still try and get a “real job” while I pretend to make websites. Like, maybe fuck you? Sorry I didn’t fucking think about looking for a job. Jesus Christ, maybe that will help.

    I’ve filled out something around 600 to 900 applications but maybe that I should just apply to places I guess.

    I’m 41 years old. I checked my 401k yesterday and it’s at 35k. That’s it. That’s what I get to look forward to for retirement unless we successfully manage to wipe humanity off the planet first, which at this point I’d prefer. But at 41, you really can’t even save for any sort of retirement. I’m stuck trying to find a fucking job for the rest of my miserable fucking life. Find a job, like it, get burned out and hate it, get fired, look for year, rinse, repeat.

    Kind of fucking done. But yeah, people don’t wanna hire me and do want to fire me but I guess trying to be self employed is somehow an affront to those I told about. Same motherfuckers who don’t care about my financial well-being keep asking me if I still make sourdough. You know, because when you are suffering from crippling depression, you wanna bake some fucking bread. I practically have to put reminders in my calendar to bathe but sure lemme make some fucking bread while I have an existential crisis about dying poor and homeless. Hope you enjoy the motherfucking bread!