echoing others, do not move without a job lined up.

I’m assuming you live in the states, but do not move without having a job lined up. You are asking for disaster in this current job market. Besides that, virtually all housing will require a steady, provable income just to get into a place. The only alternative would be to find someone looking for a roommate off the books (your name not on a lease), like a spare bedroom or couch surf.

Once you have a job and housing, the rest of what you mentioned is fairly easy, although I don’t know the term HCOL.

Lots of others will chime in but my tip for you is having roommates will not make you less of a slob, you will just piss each other off unless your slob levels are aligned

If you can do it without roommates, do that. I don’t care if it’s a sibling or your best friend. They will fuck you over somehow.

Landlords aren’t good about fixing things so having a few tools goes a long way.

Think about getting a place near public transportation in case something happens to your personal transportation

Getting a place without a job is a tough one. They’re going to want proof of income

A lot of places don’t have laundry machines. That can be a pain because going to the Laundromat is crazy expensive. If the place has shared laundry, you’re better off sitting right there while you are doing your clothes. People will do rude shit like open your dryer and not restart it or they will just straight up take your wet clothes out and use your machine without setting you up for getting your laundry finished.

There is normally next to zero recourse for if you have a problem with your landlord or another tenant. You can take them to court, but some states are very landlord friendly and will chuck you out on your ass for no reason. Even if you win the case, don’t expect them to renew your lease.

They will always find a way to keep your security deposit.

It’s illegal (at least here) to ask for first and last months rent and a security deposit, but if you call them out on it they just won’t rent to you.

Renters insurance is pretty cheap. It’s worth looking into.

Try to get a top floor apartment because if not, the people upstairs will be crazy loud walking around all the time.

Landlords like to pretend they are cool and reasonable, but the second it suits them, they will default to “I own it, so I can show your apartment to whoever I want”. In my experience they are supposed to give you 24 hours notice before coming over/in but they never do it. If you raise a stink about it, refer to the “they will just not renew your lease for being a pain in their ass” thing.

Not trying to be a downer, but they hold all the cards and landlords are terrible by design. You might get lucky though

Good luck! And that’s not sarcasm

personally, I have never moved somewhere without a job lined up first. I did once, but it didn’t work out and I had to go back after spending my savings, so I never risked it again.

having the job first gives you the advantage of having a group of people (coworkers) you can solicit for advice on housing, etc. they’ll have an understanding of your income/circumstances and would be able to recommend areas and situations that make sense. it’s also a situation where knowing someone who lives nearby is a godsend, because you can maybe(?) couch surf there while you start work and look for a place.

the downside is that moving to start a lined up job is a pretty rushed experience. lots of learning and new experiences all happening at once… and you can’t really celebrate the hiring, because you need every day before your start date to find a place, get your shit into it and get all the utilities and whatever going.

but at least you will have the job, and knowing the income of the job sets terms on what’s affordable.

making friends and stuff has always felt easier once I had a job and a routine, and needing to find a place made me reach out to coworkers, which is where you might find the cool deal… like somebody’s relative with a sublet or some other non-professional landlord who won’t fleece you.

Craigslist or Facebook are probably your best bets for your first apartment. Students are always looking for roommates/sublets and tend to have flexible living arrangements if you can handle sharing the space. Try to keep your furniture light and packable because you will probably end up moving several times in your first couple of years. I slept in a hammock for a little while and it was comfy and way easier than a bed, but it did make it hard to bring dates over.

Get yourself a hobby. Dancing, social bike rides/runs, board game nights, whatever. They can be a good way to meet people and start n*tworking without actually having to make it about your career.

There are probably also networking nights related to your specific field that you can find out about through Facebook or Meetup. There might also be a newsletter specific to your city that you can sign up for. Also check out the local college campus for public events; there’s stuff you can attend without having to be a student.

Start looking for jobs outside of your field in areas that interest you. The best bet is to find ways to leverage your skills in something related to but necessarily exactly in your chosen field. Local nonprofits tend to overwork and underpay but they can be a foot in the door and a chance to start building up your resume. Volunteering can also be a way to find out about paid opportunities.

Soft skills are still king, so being able to write/communicate well and project manage are easy things to pick up cheaply or free and can pay big dividends.

Find a cheap but reliable bike (learn friction shifting, it’s fun!) that you can put a trunk rack on and learn to maintain it (there are often free or cheap DIY bike workshops that will teach you maintenance). Biking tends to be more time efficient than transit and can be cheaper in the long run.

Figure out where the cheap groceries are and meal prep. Grocery stores in urban areas are nuts; stuff that’s expensive in one store can be a lot cheaper half a mile away. If you end up falling in with college students, they can help.

Good luck!